10 ways to stop Facebook ruining your social and personal life

When I heard one of my overseas girlfriends quit Facebook, I was so sad. We used to exchange notes about how the kids were growing up; she used to post little cute videos of her little boy running around, helping with housework or learning new skills. No doubt, Facebook has fast become a huge social network that is wonderful for friends and family to keep in touch, to be well informed of each others development and achievement, to share few thoughts here and there that not necessary expressed otherwise. Together with these good attributes however, Facebook is also well recognized as a big time waster. It is even claimed to ruin people’s relationships and social life. My friend became addicted to it. That was why she had to completely shut it from her life. But is that the only way?


Imagine there is a tall, handsome guy in your town called Falcon Brooks. Not only tall and handsome, but Falcon Brooks is also very funny, knowledgeable, and especially, approachable, gentle and kind. Every guy wants to be his mate because he is good at sports and he is a great source of tricks and tips on how to talk to and seduce girls. Every girl wants to be with him because he has an exceptional sense of humor and he is an excellent listener.


The trouble is this young guy Falcon Brooks doesn’t know how to keep secrets. Anything you confide in him, he would just let other people know (without bad intention though). Through Falcon Brooks, everyone seems to know what everyone else did, is doing or plans to do. Just the other day, the neighbor knew about what you planned for holidays before your husband did because Falcon Brooks happened to chat to you when you planned it. It made your husband a little cross.


To make it worse, Falcon Brooks seems to have the whole time of the world for himself. He would just knock on your door at anytime of the day or night to ask you to hang out; show you fun games and apps that he has. In exchange, he can listen to you as long as you have things to say. You seem to spend more and more time with him, who wouldn’t? You start hearing yourself saying: “just a moment, I am talking to Falcon”; or “I need to let Falcon know this”; “I need to take this picture for Falcon, he loves this kind of stuff” …etc.


Of course why shouldn’t you spend time and hang out with Falcon Brooks? He is such a cool guy and oh-so helpful too. Last Friday was your best friend’s birthday, you were busy and he offered to bring a birthday card and best wishes to her for you. But also because of that, you didn’t ring her afterward, oops!


However, yesterday, Falcon Brooks made you so mad… not actually his fault but you blamed him anyway because he told you that your husband’s ex was in town and she was planning a reunion with some old friends, including your husband. Also through Falcon Brooks, you learned that this ex-girlfriend of your husband was very beautiful, she had been traveling all over places and, to make it worse, she had just been divorced. It started to torture you but you don’t know what to do. You asked your husband about her. He said you were crazy. There was nothing going on. She was just an old friend! Somehow you can’t believe him. You just can’t stop to worry. You see Falcon even more and asked him as much info as you can. You even asked Falcon Brooks to help you stalk on your husband and the girl, even though you know it is not right. You just can’t help it. You feel worse and worse!!! You wish he didn’t let you know in the first place. For once Falcon Brooks is not the source of comfort any more. He is ruining your life! What can you do?


Here are 10 things you can do right now:


  1. Cut down your time with Falcon Brooks. Do something different like find a good book to read or go to café, hang out with friends who can inspire some positive energy in you.
  2.  Limit your time talking to Falcon to 10 minutes a day or even less, twice or three times a week so you can spend more quality time with your loved ones.
  3. Trust your husband, wife, bf, gf and talk to them first about anything you worry or want to know, not quietly stalking or finding information through Falcon Brooks. Falcon might have vast information about many things but many time it needs a cool head to know what is the truth.
  4.  Spend sometimes with your REAL friends and family members, not just communicate via Falcon Brooks. He is helpful but he is not THE ONLY channel for communication. There are plenty of people who do not talk to Falcon Brooks – don’t forget them. Face to face is still the best way to build relationships.
  5.  Don’t tell Falcon everything, especially info that you don’t want the whole world to know. You know he can’t keep secrets and never will.
  6.  Don’t tell Falcon all your addresses and your schedule, he wouldn’t do any harm but he might accidently tell someone who can use the info against you.
  7.  Don’t listen to him about all the cool games and apps that he has access to. He has the whole time in the world, you don’t.
  8.  Be active. You sit at work, and then sit during lunch and dinner, then sit to talk to Falcon some more. Stop spending time talking to him, run around, do some exercise. Sitting too much can shorten your life. Active life will get your metabolism going and release your body from unnecessary stresses.
  9.  Be positive. From time to time, Falcon will innocently tell you about someone beautiful; a couple looking happy or someone else taking amazing holidays. Don’t let envy and jealousy eat you up. Take that as an inspiration to do the best for your body and your relationships.
  10. Believe in yourself, know your values and keep a balanced life. Falcon can be a good friend if you keep it at that. Create a balanced and active life, then he will only can complement you, not dominate you.


Anything else you suggest we should deal with this popular guy Falcon Brooks?


Lan Tran, 3/11/2014

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